Odd Happenings
by toescapenow
Summary: Major AU, OOC. It all started when L started noticing an odd little brown haired boy, and strange things start happening, as his life spiraled downhill from there. Will L find out what is going on? Please Review :3
1. Breathtaking

L had never realized how fragile his particular classmate was. His legs were slender and extremely thin, pale and untouched. It was as though they shone in the sunlight, and drew attention to itself, radiating a soft glow of vulnerability… It was like he was some kind of porcelain doll, or a _geisha_, even. L watched how his classmate's gym pants hung lowly around his tiny waist, almost two sizes too big, accompanied by his oversized gym attire. He just looked…so fragile, and breakable. And prior to today, L had _never,_ not even once, noticed anything about the teen that screamed of such susceptibility; he had never felt that the unspoken classmate was weak, or small.

Sure, he was quiet. But some people are just more of an introvert, you know? They'd just linger in the background and stay in the shadows.

But he never did notice…how destroyed he was. For once, his face was not dashed with his fringe, but exposed. It was the first and only time that L ever did saw his face, as the strong wind swept across the gym.

It was breathtaking. _Simply breathtaking_.

His eyes were almond-shaped and tinged with a shade of pale crimson amongst the pool of hazel brown, practically drawing L's attention into direct orbit instantly. But there was a certain kind of resignation that flashed in those dark orbs, some sort of sadness that was behind those eyes, those very magnetizing eyes. He had a little nose along with sunken cheeks, distinct cheekbones and a well-defined jawline. His skin seemed so smooth, and glowing. _Wow. Just wow._

And just as the wind stopped, his first and final moment of witnessing such a beautiful and broken face ended. His face was once again covered, by his long fringe that blocked out both his eyes from the rest of the world. It was like a moment in time where the entire of eternity froze over, but then reality stepped in, and normalcy resumed. Noises and sounds of murmurings and chattering slowly filled the room again, until it was everywhere, but there was only one thing on L's mind.

Raito.

That image of Raito was stuck in L's mind, as those hazel pools flashed with certain sadness. He was definitely going to find out more about the quiet, unspoken beauty that hid in the corner of the classroom. He was going to find out all about the mysterious Raito. _He had to._

/

Sitting at his desk, L thought about the peculiarity of it all. Two years of being in the same classroom as Raito, and he had never noticed the lingering presence of him – not even once. Wasn't that odd? It was like he was there, but yet he wasn't there; present yet absent. He glanced to the corner of the class, and Raito was there, eyes behind his covered fringe, lips thinly pressed together, calm and composed, just like how he normally acted. Was he the one overreacting?

"Hey L…," came a voice in front.

L quickly turned back, missing the only mismatched feature of the calm Raito – a tear that had trickled down his eyes, past his haunting fringe, and drooped down his hollow and gaunt cheeks.

_It's all going to end. _

/

During lunch, L noticed how Raito just simply _disappeared_. The bell went, and just as he wanted to turn to take a final glimpse at his mysterious classmate, Raito had already vanished – as though there never was anyone there in the first place. What met his eyes was merely an empty desk by the empty corner of the classroom.

He scanned through each corner of the cafeteria, but there simply weren't any signs of a certain auburn-haired boy.

Usually, L would wander off himself to the rooftop of the school during lunch breaks, but today was one of those rare occasions he decided against it. Instead, he settled in his clique of 'friends' and a couple were going on about how they'd managed to escape detention, with some guys were chatting with exaggerated hand motions and laughter.

It was just the same old boring gigs that would take place during lunches amongst the students. L, being happy-go-lucky by nature, preferred the silent company of the skies and clouds as he gulped down his strawberry milkshake. He never really bothered with this clique but he just stuck to them from time to time. _Well, it beats hanging around by yourself all the time, no matter how strong or independent you are, _he mused.

Twirling his spaghetti with his fork, his mind flashed once more of the earlier encounter of Raito during gym – of his face, and those eyes…and he just blurted out, "Raito Yagami…", half deep in his own pool of thought. The conversation that was going on came to an abrupt halt.

"Hey L, didcha' say somethin'?" a fellow among his clique questioned, somewhat cautiously. The thick air within the group seemed to have doubled upon the simple mention of a name. _Why_?

Realizing that he had spoken aloud, and that he was NOT within the privacy of his own rooftop, he gathered his composure, and twisted the situation; his eyes betrayed no sense of emotion _whatsoever,_ as he spoke evenly, "You know, that guy's damn weird. I mean, just look at his _face_, y'know? Hah!" ending off with his nasty signature smirk, irony stinging on the tip of his tongue. His group of friends burst out in laughter following his snide remark. Relief spread through the bottom of his tummy. The last thing he wanted was to let anyone know about that small little brunette was stuck in his head. _Pfft._ At least he was saved from that situation.

"Hahahaha!" One of the louder guys in the group, Kei, slammed the table loudly in the midst of his laughter. _Was it that funny?_ L looked at the laughing classmate with question, _why was it his actions seemed so over-exaggerated and forced_? "Man, Yagami just has bad hair day twenty-four-seven you know?" he roared, before the group resumed their loud laughing again.

When they finally quieted down, some new conversation began, and the episode was quickly forgotten by the group…except L. _Why was there some sort of barrier created when he brought up Raito's name? Was there something he was missing out on?_

Everything felt really, really odd.


	2. Gone

A/N: Hey, thanks for the reviews : Just a short update, hope you like it!

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The next day.

Ms. Hakumi entered the classroom unusually late, face lined with worry and panic, two shades _too_ pale, definitely not her usual tight-assed self, L thought humorously at the back of his mind. _Well, it's refreshing for a change_! She fumbled to arrange her stack of worksheets on the table clumsily as a series of buzzing spread through the class. Ms. Hakumi, was one of the best known teachers for her punctuality and neatness in image – but today, she was a mess, literally.

Her usually crisp clothes were slightly out-of-place, with strands of unruly hair breaking away from her uniform neat combed-back bun, and her face was a complete lack of color of any sort. "Now what could trigger such an odd reaction?" L thought, as he allowed his vivid imagination to run wild. "Could she have been demoted? Lost her wallet? Dropped her keys? Or…Perhaps, just perhaps, she's getting married!" He could barely contain his amusement at that trail of thought, and hardly managed to contain his laughter, as he pictured his form-class teacher with a bald and fat older man with their wedding pictures taken. How hilarious!

He looked back up to the rather abnormal teacher, to find that she had finally completed settling down, and stilly took the center of the class. Her lips slightly twitched as she composed herself before speaking.

She took a deep breath, and gulped down, hard, slowly opening her mouth again to speak.

And suddenly, just suddenly, in that instant, as that solemn expression was formed on her face, L's inner laughter died. It was as if he knew something bad was just about to happen in that very moment. A shivering sense of fear conquered his being just for that split second – he had a hunch, a very bad hunch of what was coming. This feeling was just so surreal and foreboding, like a tidal wave of doom just swept past him, leaving his breaths slightly rushed. He was scared; scared of nothing yet scared of everything.

As if guided by his instinct, he slowly angled his head to the corner of the classroom.

"Class…I-I'm here to announce that…" her voice slightly trailed off again.

He was looking to find a certain brown-haired skinny teenager…

An unmistakable shake in her voice was trembling the words she enunciated, as if in slow motion, each syllable quivering with_ fear_.

The feeling in the pit of L's belly exploded and goosebumps expelled from the back of his neck, down to his hands. Fear had consumed and possessed him, and the notion of simply being uncertain was just unbearable. _What was this feeling_?

The corner of the classroom was eerily empty.

Where was…

"Our classmate,"

Ratio? Was he absent?

"Raito Louise Yagami…"

_He was gone. _

"…has left us."

L's eyes fractionally widened. He stared blankly at the empty desk beside the windows, with Ms. Hakumi's last six words echoing in the back of his mind. Shuddering slightly with his mouth agape, he then slowly turned back to the front._ What the hell is happening_?

A series of murmurings broke out in the classroom. Shocked and uncertain whispers continued – Oh my god, is she serious? Raito Yagami? Like that quiet guy? What does she mean that he _left_ us? But he didn't even tell us…

_You've got to be kidding me…_ L thought at the back of his mind as he somewhat regained himself. _Are you fucking me_? Just yesterday I barely noticed him, and now he leaves? That's it? That's fucking it? What kind of coincidence was this shit? He was just angry at the prospect of the _impossibility_ of it all, and how preposterous it was.

How is this even…?

"Raito is dead."

/

Tick, tock, tick, tock…

Everything in the classroom had condensed into a thick wall of silence. For the longest time ever, everything felt muted. There were sounds, and only sounds – the twirling of the ceiling fans, the hushed wind blowing through, the creaking of door hinges… no words. It was like watching a motion film of the past, without any sound. Some of the classmates stared, mouths agape, staring into blank space; others simply had a confused, unacceptable look; some had significantly paled with horror screaming through their faces. Everything was silent like this for the longest time.

And L simply had an empty look and tears threatening to escape and fall past his eyes lids, as he slowly zoned out from his surroundings.

_It was the end, but the end was just the beginning. _


	3. A Message

A/N: Just a heads up that this is probably gonna be quite a long story :x Sorry if it gets boring.. and do let me know kay! And Review! :3 Hope you'll like it

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/

"First of June was the day that I laid eyes upon him; the day I first noticed his existence, and the oddity behind. Second of June was the day that he died." L's brain was just narrating these two facts into his skull, engraving it there, noting how the occurrence of the two was just _crazy_.

It just didn't feel _right_.

He had barely known Raito, and he couldn't really explain it – but a part of him was expecting something along those lines in that instant he caught Ms. Hakumi's gaze. It was like he _knew_ all along that something like this was about to happen, but yet nothing could have braced him enough to expect Raito's _death_. And now, it just felt like an entire part of him was _gone_, along with the timely death of his classmate. But why did this feel so surreal? It wasn't that L didn't _want_ to believe that Raito had died, but rather, he _couldn't_. The arrival of the information just couldn't click with him.

"No, that's not right…" L barely whispered. "Raito can't be dead." His gut feeling just exploded within him, and he became more certain than ever – Raito isn't dead.

/

The day proceeded on as per usual, apart for the especially gloomy and silent atmosphere that hung around the classroom even until Lunch. Hushed whispers about the said death of a classmate filled the entire class, as the students proceeded to the cafeteria. But L just sat there silently, determined that Raito was not dead. He could just see the still-life pictures moving in his head. That instant where he captured Raito's face for the first time, he could see those scenes replaying in his head – Raito's hair flinging in different directions, his vulnerability, and the sadness in his eyes…

It was the only thing that he could think about.

Like a broken record echoing in his head, he repeated the sentence, and repeated all the scenes with Raito inside. A glimpse of his brown hair, his full lips that were always closed, the small frame he had, the quietness of his presence – all these recollections consumed L slowly and firmly. Ratio is not dead. Raito is not dead. _Raito is not dead_.

* * *

Just yesterday, he glanced over to Raito's desk before leaving to lunch, only to see that he had disappeared. Now, he was completely _gone_. "Hmpf. You expect me to believe that?" he spoke aloud softly to the now-empty classroom through a half smile, as he stepped towards Raito's desk. His fingers ghosted over the table gently, as he drew three invisible lines down the table, as he walked by it.

His fingers trailed down the smooth surface of the table until they came into contact with a slightly rougher surface. Somewhat surprised, L took a closer look at the new texture, only to realize that there was something engraved _into_ the table surface, yet traced over with the exact same hue color as the table, making it visibly unseen and unnoticed. _What is this_? _Did Raito crave something into his table?_

L bent over, leaning his ear to the level of the desk trying to decipher the engravings. His heart was beating increasingly faster – Could it have been a message by Raito about his disappearance? Or was it something that might link to his disappearance? All the possible links to what was inscribed in the table was forming in his head _fast_. Biting down slightly on his lower lip, L squinted, trying to make out the sentence or message, but his efforts were hopeless. Credits to Raito, he cursed silently, for doing such a brilliant camouflage job. Furthermore, there even seemed to be dried ink within the depressions, making it even more difficult to fathom what the writings were. L then tilted the table by an angle that would enable him to use the sunlight to shine on the right side of the indents to provide a clearer view. After several more minutes of adjusting and readjusting, L could finally make up part of the engravings – or rather, the phrase that was written in delicate cursive handwriting.

"Just…never…? Escape…" he mumbled as he tried to read the phrase. He finally got it, and scribbled it down on a piece of scrap paper, before looking at it again.

"_Just never think; Escape every encounter thoughtlessly." _What did this mean…?

He glanced back down to the table, to check if his scribble matched the engravings. Scanning through the hard surface of the table, with the light as his assistant, he realized that there was another line of small handwriting at the bottom of the phrase.

It was so small, and barely visible, like something a child would write. L painstakingly titled the table once again, to help him better make out of what the petite bottom phrase was.

"Its is-isolation… overcomes eradication…" he read off the table, "Its isolation overcomes eradication." He repeated the phrase aloud, slightly shivering at how eerie the discovery seemed, as he hurriedly scribbled that down as well.

"Just never think; Escape every encounter thoughtlessly. Its isolation overcomes eradication." He stared blankly at the scribbled note. _What the hell was Raito talking about?_


	4. He Who Never Spoke

/

The rest of the day whirled past without L noticing much.

During classes, his mind kept wandering to the phrase that he found on, or rather_, in_ Raito's table. He thought of how the phrase seemed senseless but logical and haunting all at the same time, and yet he could not make do with what it actually meant. But he was definitely certain about one thing – Raito's 'disappearance' was more than it met the eye. He just knew it. And he wanted to find out what happened, with what little 'clue', so to speak, that he had.

The fact that this was carved _into_ a table signifies its importance, right? It was carved by Raito, for Raito…which would explain why it was so well-camouflaged. It was a secret then, was it not? Or was it a message to Raito? No, very unlikely – very few actually would or dared to wander into Raito's space. But what for would one carve something into the skin of a table? L furrowed his brows, deep in thought.

_Just never think; Escape every encounter thoughtlessly. Its isolation overcomes eradication. _

_What the fuck was Raito talking about_? L was frustrated but yet intrigued by the notion of it all. He had never felt this kind of connection with anything, and yet a part of him had _known_ that Raito would disappear, and feel so strongly that the classmate was still alive.

Just never_ think_… and to escape every encounter _thoughtlessly_…

L ran his fingers through the thickness of his unruly hair, his long fingers stopping to massage the contours of his right ear. To never think…would mean to delete all possible belief or opinion… A person in existence without any form of idea or rationality… People like that follow their gut and instinct, ignores the reasonability and… Holy shit!

L's eyes widened and he let out a slight gasp, straightening his posture as the deduced information struck him. To never think, and to escape thoughtlessly, the depictions of the phrase matched the actions of… _criminals on the run_. And isolation in which case would mean to be imprisoned…and imprisonments overcomes eradication of the _victims_. _Fucking hell_. L let out a loud and heavy breath. Did Raito kill someone, and was now running for his life? So the phrase left behind was a constant reminder for him to escape?

A few classmates shot L puzzled glances, but L just ignored them as he sunk back into his relaxed, head-on-the-table position. His deductions felt so right, but an unsettling feeling rippled in the pit of his tummy, as if to say that something was wrong about his conclusion. Raito hadn't mentioned anything with regards to criminals or crime of any sort, but then again, a criminal would never admit to their crime, right?

"Ugh, the possibilities were endless!" he said under his breath. The worst part was, L didn't even know why he'd involve his carefree self in this spiral of events. He didn't even realize the presence of such a kid until a day ago for God's sake! Yet a deeper being within him felt ever so compelled to do so, to find out about everything related to the mysterious teen and his disappearance. Could Raito really be a criminal? Or was it he who was over-reading things?

L's mind resurfaced the image of the missing classmate during gym, and L merely let out another sigh. Indeed, Ratio barely a strong enough frame to _support himself_, let alone to potentially hurt another. He was _that_ small. Or was _he_ the victim? _Well_, the phrase could work both ways, but then…

"…and that's it for today's homeroom period." Ms. Hakumi's voice pierced his thoughts as he was dragged back into reality. "Does anyone have any questions? If not, you are free to go." L hadn't even realized that the entire day had passed him by _already_. Shaking his head at how much he 'accomplished' that day, both in school and in uncovering this mystery, L slowly started packing his books and stuff.

"Ms. Hakumi…" a deeper voice spoke.

L's ears practically perked up instantly. He'd know that voice anywhere – it belonged to the one and only Ryūku. Pairs of curious eyes turned to Ryūku all at once.

Ryūku was notorious for his position in one of the most feared secret society gangs in the district – The Red Dragon. If anything, L dare say that Ryūku was the only one in the school he feared, especially in terms of influence and physical strength. L would easily bestow the title of the best fighter of the school or even the district to Ryūku, of course, with himself falling not too far behind.

It was all common knowledge to the class that the spiky-haired teen rarely spoke up or mingled with the rest of the student body. He always gave of a vibe of being a league over all the others, expelling his 'authority' and 'superiority' over the rest. With his dark eyes glistening with an element of danger, most students found it difficult or scary to approach him. It was like a cat and mouse game – dangerous with undesirable effects.

Large dark eyes bored into surprised brown ones as Ryūku looked straight at Ms. Hakumi.

"How uncharacteristic for Ryūku…" L mused, turning towards the gangster, wondering what would make Ryūku speak up in front of the entire class, and to a teacher, for that matter.

"…" Ms. Hakumi flinched as she returned Ryūku's stare, her lips curling together tightly.

"…How did Raito die?"

The intensity in his pupils more than tripled as he continued eyeing his teacher with such ferocity. His words echoed in the classroom, bouncing off the four walls as everything in the room seem to have been frozen and still.

Tick, tock, tick, tock…

L saw white spots through the corners of his sight. His heartbeat was soaring _fast_. And suddenly, it just clicked in his head: The _key_ was the death of Raito, how could he have forgotten? He had to figure out the mechanics of _why Raito was thought to be dead_ before finding out _how and why he disappeared_; how and why he was not dead but subsequently thought as the deceased. He should find out _why_ Raito 'died', which is exactly what Ryūku is asking. How could he have overlooked _that_?

Tick, tock, tick, tock…

Ms. Hakumi's eyes widened with shock – from the unexpected question from an unexpected person. She broke eye contact from Ryūku, and swallowed hard. Her mouth was slightly open, as if to say something but not a word was spoken.

Tick, tock, tick, tock…

Ryūku was asking about Raito's death as well…but why? His words clawed at L – why the _fuck_ would a notorious gangster be interested in the death of _Raito_? What was it about Raito that made him actually speak up? What was their connection? Was it linked to Raito's 'death' as well? Questions whirled around L's mind, and he had expelled cold sweat through his palms out of the anxiety of Ryūku's question.

Tick, tock, tick, tock…

There. L saw it. There was something in his eyes, and the way Ryūku asked it, that just felt_ different_. Something about the emotions behind his intense eyes – they were dark and sad; calm yet convulsing violent and strong feelings_._

They were feelings of… hurt?

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A/N: That's my impression of a human!Ryuk. :3 do review!


	5. Shade of Brown

Ryuku had to know. He simply had to. The question was burning his insides, causing him to just go _hysterical_. He head was throbbing – one beat, another beat, a third beat - he was just this much away from having his brain blown into bits from all the tension and speculation. From that mere instant Ms. Hakumi announced Raito's death his throat went dry. _A silent scream._ His mind simply blanked out and he just couldn't think; couldn't function; couldn't fucking breathe.

He didn't want to believe any of the words that came out of that woman's mouth. What the fuck was she saying? Does this look like a big joke to her? Was this a big fucking joke? Ryūku stared straight on with an empty expression on his face, half expecting the bitch to suddenly announce that it was all a joke, and that Raito would just pop out of the ground, and everything would resume their normalcy.

But it never did happen.

Crazy, he was simply going crazy. His tanned fingers fidgeted wildly throughout the entire day, as the meaning of those words sunk into the depths of his mind and heart.

_Our classmate, Raito Louise Yagami, has left us. Raito is dead. _

_Dead. _

_Dead. Dead. Dead. _

_Fucking dead. _

His fingers splayed across the vandalized table, tapping away furiously, at the notion that Raito wasn't coming back. The fucking kid wasn't gonna come to school in his rigid stiff movements; he wasn't gonna give that little sulk when going for gym; he wasn't gonna sit at that corner of the classroom no more. He just wasn't.

And he wasn't gonna talk to Ryūku no more.

Fuck. That hurt. It burned an ache into Ryūku's heart, consuming him slowly. _Burn, burn, burn_. Memories and scenes of the past flashed in his mind, one after another. Vivid images danced across his vision as he recalled all the times they spent together: the comfortable silences, the walks, the conversations, the things he would subconsciously notice about Raito – a toss of his head, a flick of a finger, the occasional biting of his lips… He couldn't put his finger on it, but Raito was _special_. He can't fucking die like that.

Ryūku felt moisture creeping behind his eyelids, almost as though he felt the urge to_ cry_, and Ryūku _never_ cried. _Not ever_.

/

That's why Ryūku had to know what the hell exactly happened. It had finally come to this after all. He had speculated about the possibilities through all of their chats, their conversations. He sat through the loud silences listening but never questioning. "_He would have told me when the time was right_." Ryuku had always thought.

Ryuku had always known it was coming, but he never knew when, he never knew it'd be this soon. He never knew he'd feel this way; that he'd hurt like this.

A tiny drop of liquid skidded down the corner of his right eye. _Fuck, I'm not gonna cry dammit_. Ryūku inhaled deeply and wiped the moisture with the sleeve of his shirt.

/

Motionlessly, he asked. Silently he waited. Dreading but awaiting the unknown.

* * *

"I…er. The police are still investigating…" Ms. Hakumi spoke, her voice slightly shaky. Before further questions could be asked, she hastily left the classroom, leaving Ryūku's question barely answered. Her high heels clicked and clacked down the hallway until they were barely audible.

Ryūku stood there with the same blank expression, with anger evident on his face, he kicked his chair back into place forcefully before he silently left the classroom.

Soft strings of whispers broke free at the back of the class, but L was still staring at where Ryūku was standing. He hadn't even realized that he was _holding his breath_ the whole time, fearing yet anticipating the answer.

/

"Whoaaaa, Ryūku really means what he said!" One of the guys in L's clique exclaimed, bubbling with excitement, as they paraded out of the school gates. _What_? L blinked. _What was the guy saying_? A couple of others exchanged about the whole "messed-up situation" as they'd like to call it.

"I know right, I mean first that creepy guy died, like fucking died, out of nowhere." One of the louder guys within the clique was explaining. "And nobody knows how or why." He lowered his voice for effect, making the entire group lean in.

"And then, Ms. Hakumi looked scared as hell the entire day. I wonder why, huh? Plus, there was also the threat about Raito that Ryūku made that day taking place nicely…"

L literally sprang up; his ears had jerked simultaneously as the two names were mentioned in the same sentence. Those two names should not even be strung in the same sentence. What was he missing out about this 'threat' thing? He subtly angled his body and slightly shifted his position such that he could better hear the conversation.

"And maybe…"

L leaned closer towards the speaker.

"HOLY SHIT!" the guy beside L yelled.

The sudden outburst scared the shit out of L who was especially beside the guy._ "What the fuck_?" were the only words that flashed through L's mind as his hand instantly flew up to cup his ear, and he could've sworn to kill that bastard of a friend, for lifting his soul ten meters into the sky. Seriously, what the hell? L turned toward him, only to see that his fingers were curled up, pointing somewhere in the distance and trembling.

"What the fuck, man?" the speaking guy who was taken aback shouted, obviously pissed off as well.

"Th-there…" He stuttered, breaths uneven. "F-f-fuck, th-that's-s R-Rai-to, right-t?"

L literally spun a full turn around, eyes wide open scanning through the crowd of people. _Raito? Where?_ Myriad of colors, fragments of images, and tons and tons of people were everywhere. Motion, moving things and the noise bended into a huge blur. L's eyes darted left and right through the sea of people, standing carefully on his tip toes for a better view. _Where, where, where_? He chanted silently, biting down on his lips gently.

And he saw it.

That unmistakable shade of brown hair.

Before he could do anything at all, the trail of brown was gone. Law returned to his slouching posture again, and his shoulders drooped back turned back to his clique.

"Yup. That's him just now…"

/

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A/N: Reviews appreciated :)


	6. Intoxication

_I was young. _

_When I was young, we used to be close. We used to play together after you got home from work. We laughed, we joked around, we had fun. Mostly we just laughed in the company of each other. Your laughter became my favorite melody – I loved to hear it so. I liked to hear the small snorts between your hearty laughter. It was great. Everything about you was great. _

_Us, together was simply magical. We were perfect like that. _

_I liked the scent you had all the time. It smelt of grass and lemon when we roll around on the soft field behind the house. It smelt of stink sometimes, and cigarettes. But mostly, it smelt of you. And I liked the smell of you, very very much. I never knew what the word to describe it then, but now, looking back, I can tell you that it was intoxicating. _

_Do you remember? There was once, we were flying kites. You looked at me with gentle eyes. I could feel your warmth rubbing off me. You held my shoulder with your palm, and I felt the warmth spreading from that spot. It was like you were becoming a part of me. I liked that very much. And that was why I wasn't paying attention to you. I never got to tell you that. You know, I'm sorry for not listening to you. But when you asked me if I understood, I saw your eyes. I saw hopes. But I saw expectations. I knew it then, I had to say yes. I couldn't let you down. _

_You beamed. I remember how your winkles crinkled, and your lips stretched across your face. I'd never since you smiled like that. And then, you handled me the kite, and patted my back. _

_Warmth was everywhere. __**Intoxicating**__. Overwhelming. _

_I grasped the kite tightly, and I let it go, throwing it into the sky. Then, I ran. _

_I ran and ran. I must make the kite fly, I thought. I must. Winds roaring against me, blowing my hair ever so strongly but I continued running, never looking back. I wanted to see the biggest smile from you. I wanted the kite to fly all the way up, to join the cloud and birds above. Fuzzy visions of grass and ground were everywhere, and I panted more and more. I do not know how much I ran or how high the kite was._

_Finally I turned around. I looked into the sky, grabbing the string tightly._

_My kite was not there. Had it really gone to the clouds then? _

_I tugged on to the string. _

_And then I saw the kite. _

_The kite was on the ground, not too far behind me. It was torn and tattered, streaked with mud and dirt. It did not fly at all. _

_I looked back at you. You weren't smiling. And that's when I knew that that wasn't you anymore. Your eyes had betrayed you._

_You approached me in big steps. Step, step, step. Then you patted my head. There was no warmth. You smiled. You said it's okay. But your eyes were angry. They were yelling to me, saying that I was useless. They were saying I was pathetic. Saying I couldn't even fly a kite. _

_I never got to say this but, hey you. Those eyes were scary. _

_That was why I cried. Then and there, when you patted my head, you patted tears out of my eyes. I cried louder and louder. It's okay, you say. But your eyes…they say it's not._

_It's okay. It's okay. Hush. It's okay, don't cry. At this point you're screaming at me, and those eyes had something else. Something very, very dark. _

_Then, you stopped talking. You lifted your big hands, and slapped me. You snatched away the kite and slammed it down on me, hard. You slammed it down through my head. The kite was completely destroyed. _

_It was painful. I was crying. _

_You balled up your fists, and you punched me squarely on the face._

_I saw fuzzy images. My head was spinning. _

_You punched again. Once, twice, thrice. _

_I felt liquid streaming down my cheeks. I just looked at the ground. I see my tears falling. Drop after drop, drop after drop. _

_Four, five, six. Slower but more brutal. _

_My head swayed with your punches. Does this mean you were becoming a part of me? Left, right, left, right, it kept going. _

_I lost count then._

* * *

A/N: Sorry for the short update ): Updates are going to be less frequent too, as I will be super busy in the next couple of months! But still, do review, and I hope you enjoy the update :) Cheers! x


	7. The Alley

That shade of brown was so insignificant, but it was enough. L was downright positive that that was Raito. He was certain that he just saw Raito walking away from a series of shops – and that fact alone, was enough to calm L's heart; enough to make him look smilingly at the blur of moving people. He was beyond relief. _Breathe, L. Inhale, exhale, repeat_. _He is alive. At least he is alive, just like I thought he would be._ His mental note of relief was slowly followed with strings of '_I knew it, I knew it, I just knew it! He's alive.' _ It was a wordless moment of success for L.

He was right. All along, he was right.

He cracked a grin to no one in particular, before hurriedly biding goodbyes to his clique, who had visibly paled from witnessing the 'dead'. Quickly, he began to chase after the spot of brown. _If I just hurry, I might be able to catch up with him… I just might get to the bottom of this. _

He executed long, swift strides, cutting through the crowds and crowds of people. Hands spread open, he was slashing the air, slice after slice, running as fast as he could. _Thump, thump, thump_, his heart was beating louder and louder in his ears with each step he took.

Feelings were soaring to an all-time-high and adrenaline rocketed through his entire being – everything seemed to be moving so fast, and he had so many uncertainties, so many questions. Where did the spot of brown go? _No, don't disappear_, L beseeched inwardly, desperate. _Shit, no. _

His eyes darted back up to the direction that he was headed, looking to locate Raito, but instead they focused on this peculiar man. Cladded in black, the man was standing at where L first spotted Raito. His head was turning slowly, from left to right, one hundred and eighty degrees little by little, as if looking for something in the sea of people.

L brushed it aside at first, but just then, the man's head jerked to a stop and a particular angle. The halting notion was so eerie and unnerving that L _felt compelled_ to follow his line of vision, to see what the man was after.

L's eyes widened in dread, and a tingling sensation burned the nape of his neck. The man was looking at the small, almost diminishing back view of Raito, staring at Raito as his fragile frame walked on. The man's jaw clenched, and he coolly headed in the same direction as Raito. _Was it just a mere Coincidence_?

No, L would not buy that. L would _never_ buy that.

This was not by chance.

The man was definitely after Raito.

His eyes projected the motions of the man as he continued running, trying to catch up with them. Fairly tall, lean but muscular frame, the man had eyes hidden beneath a floppy beanie hat; he was all well-covered and gave nothing away about himself.

But the way he _walked_, the way he carried himself and the way he was _looking_ were more than enough. L_ knew_ the man definitely had something personal with Raito.

He quickened his footsteps, breaths getting heavier, and he felt his head spinning with even more questions. _Who was this man_? _Why was he after Raito_? _Was Raito's disappearance linked to this man_?

The man was walking at a regular normal pace, his long strides casted with the air of confidence.

L was now closing in on the man, merely a short distance behind him. Further in front, he saw Raito's back view – that thin and vulnerable frame that first captivated him, seemed so small, overshadowed by this stranger of a man.

L slowed down, and walked, his pace matching that of the strange man. He muffled the sound of his breaths, muted the sound of his steps.

The surroundings were beginning to thin out slowly. The back of the shops was a series of plain alleys, and they walked like that: Raito in front, footsteps barely audible; man in black walking silently behind him, followed by L, controlling every sound he emitted.

_Surely Raito would know someone, (or maybe, sometwo) was behind him? _L thought, noting how the noises of the city were dying away rapidly, and the atmosphere was simply becoming that of silence. Further in front, Raito's pace was slowing down, and he finally stopped walking. The man behind had also abruptly came to a halt. And L, unsure of what to make out of this situation, simultaneously stopped walking.

Deafening silence brewed in the alley, and thick tension brewed in the alley.

"Why?"

A single deep voice boomed in the alley, but the response never came.

The guy took a hesitant step forward as his tone reduced to a softer note, with desperation clinging to every word.

"Why? Just tell me why."

L looked on, several thoughts developing in his mind already. _So it was a planned meeting then? Was it that Raito and this guy planned to meet? But what exactly is their relation? _Fearing that he would be discovered, L angled himself behind a pillar, while leaning towards the two men, trying to listen to their every word.

"Please. You know I can help you." Another string of steady gentleness came from the man's mouth. _That voice! I know that voice, damn it. _L thought. Where had he heard that voice before? A voice with that distinctive edge, a certain quality…

"I promised." The voice echoed inside of L's mind, as he placed the virtual faces of the people he knew to match that voice. That voice… that voice. L turned and looked up at the back view of the stranger. _Shit_. That voice was unmistakably Ryuku's…

"Remember?"

* * *

_Nasty whispers were everywhere. They were saying mean things about me, but that's fine. I don't really care, because here, I am not special. I am disliked, but that's fine too. Being liked isn't always a good thing. People are pointing fingers at me, they point and whisper. Sometime they talk. And sometimes they make that sound known as laughing. I know. I see them. But that's fine too._

_Because I am Raito. _

_And Raito is always fine. _

_Then you came along. Your eyes were wild and crazed, and so were you. I always wondered, did you ever regret that day? Did you ever wish to turn back time, to undo that day? You know, that day where you came to class, and sat at my place and wouldn't budge. That day where you domineeringly demanded: "All these assholes are making fun of you and insulting you behind your back, y'know? D'cha know?" _

_I stood there. And I looked inside your eyes, inside those crazed eyes. I never spoke a word, but you heard everything. _

_In the next instant, you were up on your feet. _

_With all your strength, you bare-handedly smashed through the column of windows. The delicate material shattered into tiny bits and pieces, shimmering with light as they disjoint from each other. They fell onto the floor in one swift motion, some smeared with blood droplets. _

_There were trails of blood crawling down the shattered windows, and some spots of red on your knuckles. _

_You didn't even twitch an eyebrow. _

_I didn't even move an inch away, for my eyes were transfixed on you. _

_Our eyes were locked._

* * *

"I will be there for you, Raito." Another tentative step forward.

* * *

_You snarled venomously to the class, but your eyes never once left mine. "Anyone that crosses his path is an enemy of mine." _

"_And I will personally CRUSH YOU." You spat out through clenched teeth. _

_I looked at you, I felt like asking you why. Why would you bother about someone like me? Why did you choose me? Why? _

_You broke eye contact, slowly; you tilted your head towards the rest of the class. _

"_Because I am Ryuku," and you let out a hearty note of laugh through a smirk, as if to answer my thoughts. _

_I watched you and watched you. I watched you for the longest time and I couldn't help but wonder: what exactly did you want from me?_

* * *

The small figure in front slowly turned around to face the stranger. He looked straight on at the stranger through the length of his fringe, unfazed.

"Because." A soft voice pierced the lingering silence in the alley.

"I am not what Ryuku wants me to be."

* * *

A/N: Here's the update! Just wanna make a shout-out to the lovely people who continue to support the story, despite the lesser updates - I really really do appreciate it :) it makes my heart go warm and fuzzy inside when I see a review ^^ Do tell me what you feel about the update. Cheers! x


	8. Motives and Fears

A/N: Note that there are two different parts in the story, which may be a little confusing o: Just note that they are happening at the same time! Yeah. Hope y'all can still get the storyline c:

* * *

"I am not what Ryuku wants me to be."

Ryuku stopped dead in his tracks, as Raito's words echoed in his mind for the longest time.

_I'm not what Ryuku wants me to be. I am not what you want me to be. I am not. _

What?

After all this time, after all this while – all the times he spent with Raito. I never did want you to be anything, for fuck's sake! The inner Ryuku was shouting, rebelling against Raito's hurtful words. The painful words, as if to say that I befriended you for some other hideous monstrous reasons. The fuck, Raito! The fuck?

From that first instant, the moment I stood up for you until now, standing face-to-face to you, only to hear these words?

Ryuku stared deeply and intensely at Raito, eyes expelling hurt and anger.

He saw the shiny brown eyes beneath the messy hair; he saw eyes that told him to look deeper, within himself.

He stood up for Raito then. It was because of his instincts, was it not? What was there to question?

* * *

"I am not what Ryuku wants me to be."

L's ears perked up.

Whoa, was that Raito's voice? It occurred to L that that was actually the first time that he had heard Raito's voice. A quiet, but distinctive voice; it was somewhat hoarse but had a cooling edge to it. It pierced through the silence sharply echoing into the depths of L's mind.

"I am not." A distant voice sounded at the back of his head. _Shit, why does this sound so familiar? _L vaguely heard the repeat of these words as they resounded through his mind, "I am not. I am not. I am not."

Flashing scenes that he had no memory of skidded through his vision – _what was this_? L firmly shut his eyes, wiping out the irrelevant thoughts away. Focus, damn it. Focus! He implored his mind. Somewhere in the back of his detached mind, he saw fuzzy pictures – pictures of children. There were children everywhere. Light hearted chuckles sounded everywhere in the background. But there was also the imminent presence of a faint hint of cologne that was choking the air. It was so overwhelming that L actually thought he caught a whiff of cologne in the present now, standing beside the pillar.

_What. The. Fuck. _L thought. He felt bile on the tip on his tongue, a revolting disgusting feeling boiled in the pit of the hands flew up, grasping at his neck, grappling in frenzy. His hand motions were desperate and frantic.

* * *

"And I will personally CRUSH YOU." Ryuku had said. Surely he did so because of his instinctive nature, right?

And that marked the beginning. That was how they started.

That sowed the seeds for a very special friendship, unique as friendships often are, but it was one that Ryuku especially treasured. All those moments, he'd remembered them all.

He remembered how, since that incident, he would approach Raito; initially to check on him, make sure he's alright. Steal glances at him. Grab a bite with him. Hang out together. Understanding each other's lives while lying on the school rooftop, even though, it was himself doing most of the talking.

There always seemed to be something to say when Raito was around and Ryuku would definitely have something to say. When he'd talk about school, about the fucked-up teachers and screwed up tests; about his genius and interest in Mathematical expressions that no one seemed to appreciate or share; his attempts to drive teachers crazy, Raito was there. And he'd natter about the bastards of rival gang that he'd easily destroyed with a mere flick of a finger through his animated motions and expressions. Raito was there.

Other times, he didn't feel like talking, they settled on sitting in silence. Staring at the high above clouds among the blue sky, of faraway landscapes and birds, realizing the broadness of the world and how insignificant they really were. Raito was there.

Raito was always there. _Always_.

_I'm not what Ryuku wants me to be.  
_

* * *

His world was twirling around so fast, and a sharp metallic sound of a bolted lock echoed in his head. Loud sounds of hammering, and everything was dark, so frightfully dark.

The hammering sound: knock, knock, knock, kept coming. One knock after another, at the same constant pace. L's hands reached up to his ears, covering them tightly, desperately trying to stop the sound. Fractions of moving images appeared in his mind once more, and his head throbbed.

He was losing control of himself, and L felt himself succumbing to the daunting images and sounds. His breaths were increasingly short and choppy. His legs lost their strength and gave in to gravity as he slowly crumpled to the ground, with his hands still attached to the sides of his paled face.  
_  
_

* * *

In the times they spent together, Raito's presence all this while was quiet, but affirmative. It was like his being there felt right and important to Ryuku – Raito was never judgmental; neither was he an all-agreeing yes man. But he felt like an essential platform for Ryuku, sitting through all the times he needed, he was there but-

_I'm not what Ryuku wants me to be._

A hand flew to cover his mouth as the brutal force of realization dawned upon him _so slowly. _After all this time… he never stopped to think about it. The occurrence, their friendship…

He never did realize what he was longing for, what he was looking for. _Why?_ Why did he stand up for Raito? Why Raito? Wasn't just an instinct?

He had always thought _he_ was the one helping Raito, and that their relationship was mutual. _What was I looking for when I decided to help him?_

But Ryuku did know. He did know why he decided to stand up for Raito on that day.

"I… I"

I just wanted someone to listen. Someone, anyone. I wanted to feel needed. I wanted to feel useful. I was someone living in a shell of a person. Feared by people, looked up by people, and looked down by people. But I was still misunderstood. Left out. Alone. I thought that you…

"…thought I was like you? And that I'd understand, right?"

Yeah. Exactly, Raito.

Tears glistened around Ryuku's eyes, threatening to spill over, but pride wouldn't have it any other way. Ryuku gulped down, hard and slow, and walked away.

* * *

As sudden as the episode struck, it passed. The haunting images and sound, the pain – everything was gone. It was as though everything was normal again, and he'd regained his strength. His legs were in control again, and he stood up once more. But somewhere in L's mind, he knew that that changed everything.

* * *

A/N: Update's here. I am really really sorry for the super late update. I've really been busy, and I wanted to make this Chapter better one. Hope you like it :) Tell me what you think alrights ? Oh, and I just wanna thank the new story followers! Really thank you for choosing to follow the story ^^ It means alot, really. &, **LoveToTheCucumber**, Thank you so much for your reviews! It always makes me smile to read your reviews, and thank you for always reviewing and reading my story. Thank you! :) Cheers!


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